Here’s to 21.

Hi there. 🙂 So in case it wasn’t obvious from the title, today is my 21st birthday. When I woke up this morning, I wasn’t sure how my day was going to turn out. The original plan was to just stay at home, eat lots of snacks and re-watch Grey’s Anatomy. [I know what you’re probably thinking; you just turned 21, why didn’t you go out? Well I’ll tell you why! It’s because I’m a student who has to be up at 6:00 the next morning so having a hangover really isn’t an option. ] Anyway, for the most part my day was just like any other day until a few hours ago. Out of the blue, one of my closest friends Raven Nicole { who by the way also has a blog where she shares poetry} called me to wish me a happy birthday. What meant to be a short and sweet message quickly turned into a 2 1/2 hour long phone call. Honestly, that conversation is exactly what I needed. We talked about everything, and I mean EVERYTHING. It was so healing to talk to someone and for the first time in a while I was actually able to sit back and breathe. I explained to her how for the past couple of weeks, I have been caught in a hard place and I really hadn’t talked to anyone about what I was going through. Getting to the root of what was actually going on reminded me that there is so much power in being vulnerable. I know vulnerability is daunting, trust me I struggle with this more than anyone, but if you set aside your pride for just a few minutes and talk to someone, everything becomes so much easier. Suddenly, you are able to laugh about the things that just the week before, brought you to your knees crying. You realize that nothing is as bad as it seems and you become grateful that you had the strength to make it through each day.

If you are currently going through hard times, I want to challenge you this week to reach out to a friend and talk things through. It doesn’t matter if you two haven’t seen or talked to each other in a while, I promise you that won’t matter. The people that continue to show up love you so much and only want the best for you so I think it’s about time for everyone, as well as myself, to start realizing that. As I get older, I realize that life is so short and time is relentless so there’s really no time to waste trying to do life alone. Please take care of yourselves, talk to someone, and try to be more mindful. If you have gotten to this point, thank you so much for your time, I will be back soon, and here’s to turning 21! 😀

-J’Anne ❤

20.

20.  October 23, 2018

My day started at 5:30 am.

I wasn’t sure why, but everything just felt different. Normally, when Tuesday rolls around I tend to sleep in, but today I practically jumped out of bed. Despite the fact that it was raining, I still got up, got dressed and went out to finish the thing that I have been putting off for so long. It was strange for me but I decided to just go along with it since I felt restless and needed some fresh air.

While I was walking to the academic advisement center it had dawned on me; today is my birthday. How could I forget? I turned my phone on and saw the flood of Happy Birthday messages from my family and friends and I started to reflect back on myself. (I know, I’m sounding a little too dramatic but hear me out!) For the past 20 years, I have neglected putting myself as my top priority. All of the times that I have stayed in bed on my days off procrastinating, watching Netflix; thinking that I was taking care of myself. I wasn’t.

Now I’m not saying that I just “woke up a different person”. As much as I wish that I could change everything over night, I know that the process is much more difficult than that. I just realized that if I want to be anywhere close to the person that I want to be, I cannot stay the same. I have wasted almost half of my life being too afraid to do anything; whether that be dancing, singing obnoxiously, sharing my writing, or speaking in public, and I am tired of it. There are so many things that I want to do but those little thoughts and fears in the back of my mind hold me captive. But not anymore.


Hello to whoever is reading this! I decided to share my journal entry from this morning as a way to open up a bit more since there are quite a handful of you now. ( Technically there are only 6 of you guys right now but I am more than grateful that you have all stuck by me! 🙂 ) I still haven’t decided what I am going to do for my birthday yet, but if I do anything I will probably post it on my Instagram which is linked on my home page. Thank you so much for reading and I will be back very soon.

much love,

J’Anne ❤