If You are Feeling Overwhelmed

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Hello everyone and welcome back. This post is going to be a little different because I just wanted to sit down and talk to you guys for a bit. There must have been a reason that you clicked on this , and whatever reason that may be just know you are not alone. Stress is normal around this time of year, especially with the plethora of things going on. Whether that be deadlines, studying, preparing for finals etc., I know because that is exactly what I am going through at the moment. So many things have been happening lately and with school on top of everything else, my life has been crazy.

I’m sorry, I am not trying to sit here and rant about how crappy my life is because that isn’t the case. My life isn’t perfect and I don’t claim for it to be, but the constant pressure from those around us to be perfect and only share the happy moments in our lives can really take a toll. I just feel that sharing my experiences will not only help myself but anyone else who is in my situation.

Anyway, to get back on topic, when things start happening and our workload  piles up, we tend to make our situations worse by worrying and playing the victim. ( I know I do, I am super dramatic) Just remember that YOU got this! You made it to the end of the semester and that is something to celebrate. Get out of your room and call up some friends for a study date. Make an A on that test. Treat yourself to some coffee because you deserve it, don’t let these things take your joy away! I know I am starting to sound a bit cliché and I’m not trying to tell you that these are some magical cures to all of your problems. I get it, life is hard. Some people may not be able to get out of bed or they may not feel motivated to do anything. If this is you, please hang in there. Everything happens on your own time and , if I must say so myself, I am proud of you. You made it another day and are doing everything that you can right now. Please don’t give up, no one has seen the best of you yet. Just give yourself time.

If you start to feel worthless because you feel like you aren’t living up to everyone else’s expectations, don’t. I struggle with this on the daily and I constantly compare myself to others about anything and everything. Just little things like this start to take a hold of me and I start to stray away from how I normally do things. I try to adopt other routines and guess what? They never work. Every time this happens I remind myself that it’s okay if I can’t do something like someone else, because I know that I can do it J’Anne’s way.  🙂 Whenever I get into this mindset I realize that there is nothing wrong with doing things my way as long as I know that I tried.

It is just a slow process of getting to know yourself.  Through this you slowly start to love yourself and through loving yourself you begin to find true happiness. I am still on this journey but I can say that I have come a long way from where I was a year ago. I hope that everyone of you can learn to love yourself. We need to break the stigma of sadness during the holidays because I see so many amazing people struggle and I wish that I can help. Sadly, I know that this easier said than done, but I can still try my best to be there for those that need me.

Good luck to you all and please take care of yourselves for these next couple of weeks.  ❤

-J’Anne

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Kezee Street

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Lately I’ve been thinking about the house that my family used to live in on the corner of Kezee St. Eleven years ago to be exact. It was a large white, slightly slanted house with a torn down garage in the driveway. Our home was just down the road from my cousin’s house so we would stay gone for hours on end running around and exploring the neighborhood. I still remember the looks that we received because of how many of us there were. Sometimes there would be five  of us and other times whenever my family from across town would come visit there would be ten. I’m sure it looked funny; a herd of young Hispanic kids walking in the street. Me and my cousin, Titos, trailing along behind in the grass because we weren’t old enough to walk with the big kids.

I never would have guessed how much I would miss these moments, but here I am now sitting in my sister’s apartment, dog sitting and reminiscing back to my childhood. I’m 20 now, and sometimes it just feels so strange. I start to notice how everything around me is changing and time seems to continuously slip right through my fingers. Whenever I go back to my hometown during the holidays to visit my Aunt and walk the same paths that I would when I was younger, it feels almost like a movie. A distant memory that will forever be etched into the streets of my city.

I look over at the train tracks, then remember the countless nights sitting up in bed, not being able to sleep because of the thundering and shaking of the train as it rolled down the railway. I remember how, despite our mom’s stern insistence not to, we would put coins down to be smashed. We never knew what we would use them for, we just thought they looked neat, almost like those silver and gold talismans used in movies.

I remember the old, weather beaten shed in the back that my sister’s and I turned into a clubhouse. Friends would come and go, but all of our names painted in an old can of red spray paint would remain.

Then there was the cucumber plant that my dad planted and to this day I still have no idea if it bloomed. Maybe the person who had moved in after us or even the person after them would have found it. Either way, the mystery remains, because now the house is gone forever. It was sold to the city who would knock it down, taking all of our memories with it. Sold to someone who had no idea what it meant to the three girls who lived there eleven years earlier. The house in itself is now just a ghost.

Recently, when my sister and I drove to Kezee street during the holidays to look at the rubble, I realized that even though our memories were here, this was not our home. Our home was the feeling that would follow us to every house after that, because we were all together. This big, slightly slanted white house with the broken down garage in the driveway was home to one of the most beautiful moments in our lives and though it’s foundation has crumbled, our memories will not.


Thank you so much to whoever reads this. I hope you all had a very merry Christmas and I will be back hopefully sometime before the new year. xo

-J’Anne

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rainy Days

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I’ve never particularly liked rainy days, but that doesn’t mean that I hate them either. I suppose it just depends on how I’m feeling that day. Sometimes I stay inside, and either watch Netflix or catch up on some homework. Other times, I see these rainy days as perfect photo ops. I also like to take these opportunities to take some time and reflect on myself and get my thoughts together. Continue reading “Rainy Days”

Short Story Series

Processed with VSCO with p5 presetWhenever I have an idea, I tend to jot it down in journals, notebooks, or on random scraps of paper, no matter how good or bad, and then never look at it again. I have so many scenes and scenarios written down, that as I was going through them again I realized that some of them would actually make interesting stories. I’ve decided to share a couple of them on here , and who knows, maybe I will continue on with one of them. I hope you all find something that inspires you this weekend, and please look forward to my next post.

J’Anne Alexandra