This picture is one of my favorites that I have ever drawn as a college student. Growing up, I had always been creative, and I would do so many things whether that be drawing, origami, writing, etc. I started to lose touch with my love for creating as I got older because I felt like my work wasn’t good enough. I would tell myself things like, “You can’t do that as good as her/him, ” or something along the lines of, ” Just put that away, people will only think that you want attention.” Writing these out on here makes me realize how silly they actually sounded, but this was reality for me. It started to progressively get worse as I got into middle school and I began to notice other things that I did not love about myself, like my body. From here, my grades began to slip and I really began to believe that I wasn’t smart and it became harder to pay attention in class. To keep this long story short, as a result I became so isolated from the truth and blinded by my own insecurities that I missed out on so much life. These lies that I would constantly tell myself suddenly became my character and I was miserable and angry all the time, to the point where I didn’t even know who I was anymore.
All of this, and for what? I was looking for validation in things and people that never gave me the time of day. It wasn’t until I got into college that I started revisiting my faith, and I was introduced to a familiar yet completely different kind of love. Soon the truth would come out and I realized that I already had everything I needed and even though it took me so long to see it I’m gad I finally did. I have a family that loves me and old friends and new friends that love me for who I am and who I am becoming.
Every time I start to have these thoughts I get out my notepad or my phone and make two lists. On one side I write, as you may have already guessed, The Lie, and on the other side, The Truth. Say for instance the lie would be, ‘No one will ever love me.’ The truth would be, ‘I already have so many people who love me.’ Reminding yourself of the blessings that you already have and the blessings that are to come can completely shift your mind. If it is so easy for us to convince ourselves that we are insignificant, then it can be just as easy to remind ourselves of how amazing we actually are. I’m not saying that this is a proven way to fix anything, I get it. This is easier said than done and it took me a while to start believing. Another thing that I tell myself when I start comparing myself or my work to others is, ‘No one is you and you may not be able to do things like them, but you can do things like you.’ I don’t know what it is about this powerful yet more than likely grammatically incorrect phrase that helps, but it does. That’s all I have for today. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and I will probably be putting more content up related to these kinds of topics as I see fit. Life is hard and we all go through the motions but it is so much easier to have people around to know and understand what we are going through. Again, thank you and I will be back soon.